Dear C.,Thank you so much for taking the time and expending the effort to write such a thorough and thoughtful response to my question. I want you to know how very much I appreciate that.When my HOH and I began our relationship, we confessed a mutual interest in BDSM, but then through my reading and explorations (Mr. Loving DD's site in particular) I began to realize that what I was calling BDSM was in fact a deep need for discipline. Now, even the so-called BDSM activities in which we engage make little sense to me unless they are intended to reinforce my submission and obedience, or to teach me humility. As you obviously know, there are many, many people interested in spanking for spanking's sake, but I personally do not derive pleasure from the activity itself, unless it is for real dicipline. In that case, the pleasure comes from the submissive, feminine, obedient state that results from being lovingly disciplined.I want to take some time to re-read your answer, and to continue considering everything you said, but I did not want to fail to thank you in the meantime.I would also like to ask your permission to either re-print or link to your article about using "Sir" during discipline, as Mr. C. has read this and found it very interesting. He asked me to read it and consider your opinion on the subject, as he concurs. I have requested that I not be obligated to call him "sir" and he allows this becuase he understands my motivation, but after reading your article I think I need to consider the question more carefully and possibly reconsider.Thank you again, and best wishes,Constance
This is the first podcast in our Beginning Domestic Discipline series. Eventually we will be making podcasts for all different types of series including the spanking series, the domestic discipline obstacles series, and more.
Advanced Loving Domestic Discipline
Last month we recorded a 45-minute free downloadable podcast on the definition of domestic discipline and the pros and cons to living the lifestyle (among other things). That was our first ever podcast, and before recording additional ones we wanted to see how LDD readers responded to the first one.
Our intent with this post is not to cause any problems, drama, or conflict within the domestic discipline community, nor is our intent to point fingers and place blame on any one person or another. Our intent is to clear up false accusations made indirectly toward/about us with physical proof that they are false (all proof is given later in this post). It is also our intent to offer our side of the story within this post.
The only apparent problem my wife and I can determine this blogger has with us is in regard to our two domestic discipline boot camp books. We cannot confirm that this as a problem of his as he does not communicate directly with us at all, but given the nature of one of his blog posts and hundreds of Twitter tweets, this seems to be his primary problem with us.
To be perfectly clear, any accusations that any of the content within either of our two domestic discipline boot camp books is stolen, plagiarized, or otherwise infringed upon are completely false. Every word in both of our books were written by either myself, or my wife with the sole exception of the testimonials in the original boot camp book.
And the blog author continues to plagiarize the original article. The entire original article can be viewed on the original site (here: ) and bares very little similarities to OUR version of domestic discipline boot camp.
Hey honey, I just want to remind you that if you ever have anything on your mind, whether it be about domestic discipline or otherwise, you can always talk to me at any time about it, alright? In fact, is there anything you want to talk about right now? How are you feeling about the domestic discipline aspect of our relationship?
The HoH bringing this up every month or two will ensure a healthy domestic discipline dynamic remains a part of the relationship for years to come. It takes maybe 10 seconds to say that. That 10 seconds may drastically improve the domestic discipline aspect of the relationship.
The Spencer Plan is a version of domestic discipline that, essentially, has no defined roles. The man and woman are viewed as equal partners who have both chosen to incorporate domestic discipline, but neither one defines themselves as the head of the household, or the submissive partner. Both parties are subjected to the same rules and consequences dealt out by whoever is deemed the head of the household at that time.
The most obvious way that The Spencer Plan differs from traditional domestic discipline is that The Spencer Plan involves both parties holding each other accountable (whereas, in traditional domestic discipline, one person is the defined HoH and one person is the defined submissive partner and those roles do not vary).
The Spencer Plan and traditional domestic discipline may actually be alike in more ways than the average person may realize. Although they both differ greatly on many core aspects, the overall belief of having a consequence, rules, and rewards structure helping to guide the relationship remains the same.
One core similarity between the two is that both domestic discipline relationship dynamics must be consensual with both parties involved. Domestic discipline, in any form, will not work without consent of both people.
Another similarity is that The Spencer plan, like traditional domestic discipline, does not advocate spanking in anger. Punishing while the head of the household is angry can lead towards a multitude of problems such as the submissive partner becoming resentful, the head of the household conducting the spanking much harsher than deserved, and more. So, this is advised against with both The Spencer Plan, and traditional domestic discipline.
Once a punishment is over, with both The Spencer Plan and traditional domestic discipline, that issue is to be closed, put in the past, and both parties should move on. The Spencer Plan does not believe in harboring feelings, or not wiping the slate clean, after a punishment and neither does traditional domestic discipline.
The Spencer Plan places a strong emphasis on consensually living this lifestyle, and equality within it. While that is, to an extent, true with traditional domestic discipline, The Spencer Plan takes both aspects a step further (with methods such as ensuring equal rules are in place, or ensuring that the partner who is about to be punished ask for, and admit to earning, their punishment beforehand).
Overall, The Spencer Plan is an alternative for those looking for domestic discipline in a more equal form. The Spencer Plan, like other aspects of domestic discipline, is not for everyone, and it does have pros and cons. But, if executed properly, it can help a couple to achieve both a domestic discipline lifestyle, and one that ensures fairness for both parties.
An HoH in a domestic discipline relationship should always work to avoid marks/bruising, and take all necessary precautions to prevent them from happening. There are a number of things an HoH can do to give the spanking process optimal circumstances to prevent marks/bruising, and they are as follows:
If you missed our big personal announcement last Friday, we are super excited to share with you all that we are expecting our second child! So, while a large majority of the domestic discipline community (or, those thinking about beginning domestic discipline) may find this post helpful, it also hits home personally for us.
First, let us say that this post (like all posts on our blog) is simply a recommendation, and these are just our thoughts, opinions, and suggestions as to how to practice domestic discipline while pregnant. We strongly encourage each couple to make the best decisions for their relationship and, should they choose to, use the advice below as a template to help guide them in their decision process. The below opinions, thoughts, and advice is not meant to substitute for any doctor opinion when it comes to the topic of domestic discipline while pregnant. We understand this is a controversial topic, and we are presenting it here because we think it will help a lot of people who are in this, or will be in this, situation. With that being said, below are our thoughts.
Practicing domestic discipline while pregnant is much more difficult than domestic discipline under normal circumstances. However, it can be done and we recommend couples do not stop the domestic discipline lifestyle when a couple becomes pregnant (but we do recommend they make several modifications). 2ff7e9595c
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